Most couples go through difficult periods and struggle from time to time. This is true for both healthy and unhealthy relationships. The question for many is knowing when to seek help from a couple’s counselor. On average, couples wait six years form the onset of problems before seeking help. No one knows for sure why. It might have something to do with their fear of being blamed for the problems.
Or it could be that they just don’t realize that they have developed patterns of communication that are destructive to their marriage or relationship until they get a wake up call. The wake up call may come in the form of a crisis like an affair, or it may be more subtle, like realizing that you are not feeling or receiving the love, fondness and admiration that you once did.
Whether you are going through a rough patch or a crisis, couples and marriage counseling can help. The sooner you respond to problems, the faster you and your partner will be able to get your relationship back on track. Our approach is based on the latest marital research and methods of Dr. John Gottman and the Gottman Institute. This positive “nuts and bolts” approach to working with couples provides you with the tools and skills that will get results.
Learn More.All long term relationships go through difficult transitions. Common challenges for couples are parenting a newborn or a teen, a lost job, a move, elder parents, mid-life or empty nest. Unfortunately, sometimes couples fall into bad habits during these times that starts them on a negative slide. You will know when that is happening because you will experience an increase in what Gottman has termed “The Four Horsemen”, Defensiveness, Criticism, Contempt and Stonewalling.
Learn More.Are you unable to talk about difficult issues without fighting or stonewalling? Do you feel that you and your partner have become polarized, extreme and unwilling to compromise? Are you dealing with an affair, threat of divorce, serious illness, substance abuse or domestic violence? In these situations it is very important to take steps to stabilize the situation before major decisions are made.
Learn More.In our premarital program we use the Prepare-Enrich Assessment to provide valuable insights to your relationship. Research has shown the act of taking the Prepare/Enrich assessment reduces the risk of divorce and improves relationship quality as it increases awareness across multiple aspects of the relationship. Early in the relationship is a wonderful time to begin a positive dialogue about areas of importance to both of you - and it can be a lot of fun.
Learn More.The Couple Retreat is designed especially for the couple seeking a more focused, intensive approach to couples counseling. Over the weekend you can move through specific issues and learn important new skills in a short period of time. Typically we will work online or in person for 2.5 days Friday to Sunday.
Learn More.When one person is thinking about ending the relationship and doubting whether couple therapy will be successful and the other is wanting to work on the marriage; discernment counseling may be an appropriate choice. Created by Bill Doherty, Ph.D, the discernment approach is designed to support both spouses where they are.
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