My passion is helping couples repair their relationships. I’ve been a psychotherapist for 25 years and have worked with many populations but I find couple’s work to be most rewarding. I like the energy and the challenge of holding two differing points of view without judgment (and teaching couples to do the same).
These days, I only work with couples. All couples are welcome to my practice including engaged, married, straight, lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, and transgender couples. I believe all relationships are cross-cultural in that we all bring unique backgrounds to our union. What I don’t know I’m open to learning from you.
"Lisa was fantastic... I was overwhelmed by how she handled us. We are now more open, have better communication, barriers have broken down, and there was a reinforcement of the love that already existed."
I use evidence based methods because I believe too much of couples therapy has been based on someone’s opinion of what a good relationship looks like, rather than on what research with real couples tells us works. I often tell my clients they don’t need to go to “couple nirvana” to heal. Evidence based studies tell us there aren’t any perfect couples.
I enjoy debunking the common myth that conflict is a predictor of divorce. Conflict is normal in close relationships and not an index that something is wrong. In fact, disagreements are full of existential meaning and the opportunity to know one another better, but couples need to know how to make these conversations safe. My role as a couples’ therapist is to help couples approach conflict more gently, because that’s what happy couples in the research were doing.
"Working with Lisa stopped a divorce, improved communication, and brought us together in a way we haven't had since we first became involved with each other romantically."
The happy couples in the research, though not perfect, were more mindful about maintaining their friendship, managing their conflict, and continuing to build a sense of shared meaning in their lives.
Whether you coming in for a tune-up, enhancement or repair there are many ways that we can work together to strengthen your relationship. You might be surprised at how fast things turn around by making some small but significant changes.
"Friendship, a gentle approach to conflict and shared meaning, when strong, are both the effects and the causes of happy relationships."
John Gottman, A Science-Based Approach
The Gottman Method can be integrative and some other approaches that I blend into my work are; Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Dan Wile’s Collaborative Couples Therapy and David Olsen’s Premarital (prepare/enrich).
Lisa Lund, MFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist who firmly believes that couples can learn the skills needed to improve their relationship. She utilizes structured, research-based approaches that are designed to get results. Lisa is a Master Certified Gottman Counselor and Workshop Leader directly trained by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, and is an active member of The Gottman Institute Speaker Bureau. She is also trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and Pre-Marital-Assessment (Prepare/Enrich). She is a licensed Marriage Family Therapist (California-LMFT #33393, North Carolina- LMFT #10193) with over 25 years of counseling experience.
Lisa Lund, MFT’s specialty is in helping couples improve their relationships. In addition to working with couples privately, she teaches workshops and retreats to couples wanting to enhance or repair their relationships. Lisa also trains clinicians. For information about current workshop offerings see the workshops page.
Prior to her work with couples, Lisa worked in the field of Rehabilitation Counseling. In the early 1990’s she was an employer representative with The Marriott Foundation Bridges Program. Through powerful and entertaining presentations and one to one coaching, Lisa helped demystify the American with Disabilities Act (ADA) for employers. She facilitated many job matches for people with disabilities. Since then, Lisa has continued to give presentations in the work environment, helping employers and managers improve their interpersonal dynamics and communication.
Lisa is an accomplished trainer and sought-after speaker, known for her energetic and entertaining presentations for both lay and professional audiences including corporate settings, universities, conferences and community agencies.
Lisa is active in community service. She has served as an executive board member for the Redwood Empire California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (RECAMFT), as well as on executive boards for Marin CAMFT and for The Matrix Program for people with disabilities.
Lisa is a graduate of San Francisco State University with a Masters in Science in Marriage and Family Counseling and in Rehabilitation Counseling (1992).
In 1996, Lisa became a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California.
Lisa Lund MFT received from ICEEFT, Core Skills Training in EFT with Rebecca Jorgensen, PhD.
In 2005, she trained in EFT's Advanced Externship with the Institute's founder Sue Johnson.
In 2022, Lisa also became a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in North Carolina.
My interest in rehabilitation counseling was a result of surviving a life threatening illness as a young woman. I had just graduated college when I was diagnosed with Acute Leukemia. I was unable to do anything other than focus on treatment and healing for 2 years. The experience helped me appreciate the impact a life changing event has on a person, a couple and a family. I was influenced in my personal recovery by Stanford Physician and Spiritual Author, Jerry Jampolsky, whose teachings focused on inner peace and living in the present. I try to bring present moment mindfulness into my sessions with couples.
There are so many transitions in life that can be traumatic whether it’s a life threatening illness, recovery from addiction, a natural disaster or some other life changing event. The effects of trauma can hurt relationships, but it’s also true that people in strong relationships do better with trauma simply because they are not facing the “dragon” alone. It’s a gift to be able to help a couple move through a tough transition in a loving and connected way.
My favorite activity is hiking on the many beautiful trails in Marin County. I know most of them like the back of my hand and hiking with my long-term partner Jeff, my friends, or by myself is my favorite hobby. Marin County has beautiful hiking and biking trails that include vistas of Mount Tamalpais, Point Reyes and the Golden Gate Bridge. A hike through the Redwoods may lead you to a lake, a beach or a waterfall. For couples who enjoy hiking and visiting Marin, I recommend Don and Kay Martin’s Guide to “Hiking Marin”.
My favorite date night is a night out with Jeff to a SF Giants Baseball Game. To be honest, we don’t go as often as we’d like. And it seems every time we go in person, the Giants’ lose. The day before we go they win, and the day after we go they win, but the day we go they lose. I’m not sure how to remove the jinx, but we still go and we have fun. AT&T baseball park is located downtown next to the SF Bay where many “splash hits” happen. It’s a fun ballpark win or lose (...better if you are a Giants’ fan, to go when we are not there).
Jeff and I are empty nesters - almost. Four years ago, we visited an animal shelter to adopt a kitten. While there, we fell in love with a 5 year old dachshund who had just weaned her puppies. We took “Ma Ma” home and renamed her, Chloe. Did I mention that we also took home the kitten, named Jerry? Chloe and Jerry turned out to be a handful and engage in a very active love hate relationship. Volatile as they are, these two really do love each other and provide us with countless moments of entertainment.
In 2021 Lisa and Jeff moved to Durham, North Carolina. Lisa is a Licensed MFT in both CA and NC and continues to see clients online in CA and online and in person in NC.
Executive Board Member and Treasurer - Marin CAMFT (2000)
Certified Gottman Method Couple’s Therapist and Workshop Leader (2009)
Collaborative Couples Counseling Training (2005 - 2008)
Prepare Enrich - Advanced Training (1999) - Premarital Assessment
Executive Board Member - Matrix Program, San Rafael, CA (2001-2002)
Lisa's Suggested Reading List showcases books helpful to those
seeking Couples Therapy or Marriage Counseling
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